Had Been And Always Shall Be
by ncisgirl4ever
Summary: First Star Trek fanfiction, so please be nice. Summary: The friendship of Kirk and Spock, as it is illustrated when the former is on his deathbed.


It hurts. It hurts, like it has never hurt before. Agony, fear... death. James Tiberius Kirk is at last on his deathbed - his final one, mind ya. He's one of the 4 remaining original crew members of the USS Enterprise. Soon, there were going to be only 3...

Bones had passed 6 years ago by the same cause that is claiming KIrk's life - old age. Sulu was - unfortunately - their first loss. It had been discovered he had cancer. He passed 4 years after the diagnosis. As for Scotty, he had been caught in crossfire in one of their missions when they had been captured by the Klingons.

Now, the still-alive members of the crew are a different story. Uhura is on a scientific mission on Delta Vega for God knows what. Chekov has been recently re-assigned as a pilot on the USS Farragut. He still has a long future ahead of him.

And Spock...

The thought of his best friend brings him calmness and ease. He is the reason why his dying self isn't alone. He can't help but huff. Who would have thought that he - a human being with a hero's name, being wasted away in bars - and a Vulcan - an entirely different species, too logical for their own good - would become best friends? Certainly not he and nor Spock for that matter. They had fought as many times as it could get - once, he got choked by the Vulcan, rightfully if he said so himself. But life had many tricks up her sleeve, many surprises and this had been one of them.

The union between two species. The friendship that was bound to define both the people involved and the whole galaxy. A loyalty that not even death could break. Try as he might, he never managed.

_But now?_ Would the ever unbending loyalty between them break now that he is going to pass with no return?

Jim looks into his First Officer's eyes and gets the answer he seeks.

_No_

"James? How are you feeling?", Spock asks his Captain

"Why? Are you worried about me?", Jim jokes, grinning like a child

Oh, that grin. Spock knows he is going to miss it. The grin, the smiles, the jokes... everything.

"How the hell did I end up with you, huh? I do recall we were at each other's throats. Quite literally, I might add.", Jim asks smiling as he tries to make himself as comfortable as possible.

"Perhaps, none of us will ever know.", Spock replies, his eyes having welled up. He hopes he gets undetected.

But Jim does notice. "Vulcan emotionlessness my ass."

"I'm sorry?"

"Spock... you've been my friend since my first year on the Enterprise - although not from the very beginning. Do not assume you're going to hide from me.", Jim says, looking pointedly at said person.

"I didn't want you to..."

"You didn't want me to what? Spock?"

"I didn't want you to realise what I feel. I didn't want you to know my hopelessness, my fear, my anger, my despair...", Spock trails off

"You..you didn't have to hide it.", Kirk croaks "Not... not from me, anyway. You should've known it was a... waste of time.", Jim pauses "You and your ever-logical brain."

Both men smile at that. They had become accustomed to Jim's jokes about Spock's logic - not that Spock ever minded.

Kirk draws a laboured breath. "I can feel it. Soon, I will no longer be a part of this world.", he says. He, then, looks into his friend's eyes and reaches for Spock's hand. Spock realises this and gives it to him. Jim grabs it with both his hands.

"Thank you. For everything you did for me. I understand that feeling is something hard on your part. So, thank you. Thank you for your trust in me. Thank you for not letting me make rash decisions. But most of all... thank you for being my friend. My best friend.", Jim finishes, tears rolling down his face and squeezing Spock's hand with gratitude.

Spock does the same gesture. "I will live long, I know - it's the Vulcan nature. I will live to see and do many things. But I will never be more grateful than for the moment you became my friend. And for the years we shared travelling, exploring and I don't know what." Jim laughs at that, still looking into Spock's eyes and then smiles proudly. "I am proud to call you my friend as I am being your best one."

"As am I, Spock. As am I.", Jim says, both of them now crying.

He draws one laboured breath again and then looks at Spock.

"Goodbye, my brother.", Jim says with Herculean effort.

"Goodbye, my brother. Live long and prosper... wherever you are.", Spock replies, making the Vulcan gesture.

Jim nods, still smiling and crying. And at last, the ex-Captain of the USS Enterprise, James Tiberius Kirk is at peace, with his best friend by his side, mourning him and cherishing the memories of him and his Captain.

_"I have to contact them..."_, he thinks. Then, he gets up from his place next to the recently deceased Captain's bed and walks to the door. Spock can't help but look back, to take one last glance of his best friend, before letting him rest forever. Then he turns and exits the room, closing the door behind him.

_Space: the final frontier. These were the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five year mission: to explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life forms and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has ever gone before..._


End file.
